Hyundai Kappa engine vs. Autochthoe

Hyundai Kappa engine

Insert lyrics from "Greased Lightning" here.

Yesterday hockey and this morning, a car engine? Thanks, Wikipedia. Anyway, we’re talking about a small straight-4 car engine here that has been designed for fuel efficiency. Fuel efficiency is important, because it’s not like people are about to give up their cars. Of course they SHOULD, but who are we kidding? People love to drive, so engineers might as well make car engines as fuel efficient as possible to slow down your killing of the earth. The Kappa engine complies with EURO-4 emission standards, which is better than driving, say, a Hummer.

I’m a colossal hypocrite. Of course I believe in global warming and I think cars are killing the planet and highways into Toronto should be subject to tolls to help improve our public transit, and the fact that they aren’t yet is because the Ontario government is still inexplicably enthralled by the auto industry. But I jump at the chance to borrow my parents car any time I can. So I appreciate the hard work and extreme funding ($421 million over four years) that goes into developing car engines that can alleviate my guilt slightly. And at least I can pronounce “Kappa”.

VS.

Autochthoe

You know the product of these two has gotta be something special.

First of all, I think it’s fair to say that any of the heroes of Greek mythology are going to be right up there in the Tournament of Everything. I mean, who’s going to take down Perseus? The guy put the smack down on Medusa and took out a sea monster to score his future wife, Andromeda. Not too shabby. They had seven kids and one of them was daughter Autochthoe. Unfortunately, there’s not much out there about her other than that her name means “Born in the land.” But what do you need to know other than that? She was the daughter of Perseus and Medusa! The reason there aren’t any pictures of her is she was probably too virtuous and too much of a stunner for a painter to possibly render. … And she’s not a fucking car engine! I think I’ve made my case.

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Published in: on January 14, 2010 at 12:16 pm  Leave a Comment  

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