Bledion Guga vs. Aurora (Santa Catarina)

Bledion Guga

Bledion Guga (who earns a bunch of bonus points for his name alone) is a 23-year-old centre back for the Albanian footbal club Flamurtari Vlorë. And that’s about all I can tell you about him. Look, I’m not completely sports-illiterate. If Guga were a baseball player, I could tell you exactly how good he was. But Guga plays football, and my feelings about football are fairly accurately portrayed here by Sports Night‘s Dan Rydell.

I am baffled by statistics charts like this one. As far as I can tell, he’s got two career goals, but I don’t know if that’s good. Considering the low-scoring nature of football in general, that sounds pretty decent, especially for a young defender like Guga. The club he plays for is one of Albania’s most popular football clubs, though their golden years were back in the 80s. Still, Guga seems like a promising young player. And he’s from actual Europe, not the “Europe of Brazil”, whatever that means.

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Aurora (Santa Catarina)

Oh hey, that's cool that it's -20 degrees over here while people in Santa Catarina are basking in the sun all winter long. Stop kidding yourself.

Right now, it’s a beautiful 27 degrees in Aurora, Brazil, whereas here, it’s fucking freezing. Where the hell would you rather be right now. Aurora, a town located in the state of Santa Catarina in southern Brazil. Santa Catarina is f-ing gorgeous, I mean, it’s the frickin’ “Europe of Brazil”. And while that might seem like a crazy claim to make, just watch that video. It looks awesome! And listen to all those happy people singing that song I don’t understand! They’re clearly happy cause they live in Santa Catarina!

No wonder, the state is one of the most well off economically and it’s beautiful! Aurora itself is more difficult to find information about but according to the translation on this page it’s a small town with a population of 5,474, 90% of which live in the countryside with the main industry being farming. I can just picture the beautiful gardens they boast of their while enjoying the fresh and orgainc “fish and goats, rabbits, cattle and dairy cattle, pigs, poultry and bees that contribute to the economy of the city” as well as the onions, potatoes, corn, watermelon, grapes, tomatoes, rice and, um, tobacco grown there. Oh yeah, and it’s an average temperature of 18.4 degrees around there year round. Oh, but that’s cool, I’m just as happy to spend a third of the year in snow, slush and ice, freezing my fucking balls off as I go to some big box grocery store to buy their food that’s been sprayed and injected with God knows what. Oh, and while my dreams of Aurora may have temporarily gotten me sidetracked from the fact that this place might actually still require some kind of defence as to why it’s better than some Albanian soccer player who’s scored a total of two career goals, I’m willing to bet a five-year-old from Aurora can outplay Bledion Guga. I’m not one to root for Brazil in international football tournaments, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to deny their obvious superiority at the sport.

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Published in: on January 26, 2010 at 10:03 am  Leave a Comment  

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