Quicksilver Classic vs. Elizabeth Strong Worthington

The Quicksilver Classic

All this beautifully groomed golf course needs is a bunch of busty ladies walking around in hot pants.

I used to deride golf as a boring, stupid activity for chubby businessmen that in no way counted as an actual sport. Then one day a couple of summers ago my dad dragged me to a driving range and made me earn the privilege to mock golf. I failed. Golfing is hard and apparently involves more than making jokes about addressing the ball (hel-LO BALL!). I still think it’s stupid and boring, but after trying my hand at the driving range and failing at any kind of aim when I even managed to make contact with the ball in the first place and then waking up the next day with my shoulder killing me, I appreciate that golf takes skill, and I am impressed by people who are good at it. I just don’t want to watch them play.

Anyway, the Quicksilver Classic. Not my thing, but impressive nonetheless. It’s a professional golf tournament held at the fancypants Quicksilver Golf Club in Midway, Pennsylvania. At least it was in 2006 and 2007 – seems it’s off the tour now. Oh well. The Quicksilver Golf Club is probably too classy for Hooters, anyway.

You see, the best thing about the Quicksilver Classic may at first seem like a serious drawback, but bear with me. It’s part of the NGA Hooters Tour. No, Hooters is definitely not a contender for Best Thing Ever (Most Idiotic Thing Ever, maybe. And definitely Orangest Thing Ever), but isn’t the fact that Hooters, with all the cleavage and the owls, sponsors a tour of the decidedly cleavage and owl-free sport of golf. The main thing golf and Hooters have in common, as far as I can tell, is a propensity for ugly short pants.

Ok, ok. I got nothing, really, other than that golf is a lot harder than it looks, and I have the utmost respect (well, at least a little bit of respect) for people like Gareth Maybin and Grover Justice (first and second place winners of the first and second-last Quicksilver Classic). Maybe I’ll even take my proto-feminist book club out to hit the green for a field trip one of these days.

VS.

Elizabeth Strong Worthington

(Not the kind of literature most patrons of Hooters are likely to read.)

The fact that Hooters exists suggests we still have a ways to go in gender equality. But it could arguably be worse. And one of the reasons it’s not is because of people like Elizabeth Strong Worthington. An American writer of the late 1800s, Worthington was an equal-opportunity author whose works How to Cook Husbands and The Gentle Art of Cooking Wives were seminal in introducing issues of gender equality in a light, humorous light (always the best tactic if you’re hoping to get through to a bunch of lugs drinking beer and eating wings while ogling at waitresses’ breasts).

Worthington understood that if you wanted to introduce a concept as radical as gender equality to buttheads like this, it had to be entertaining. Not only was she a pioneer in realizing this so early on, but she actually dared to bring these issues to light during a time when, well, I’m sure most people would think Hooters is a classy establishment. Oh right, sorry, it’s really all about a golf tournament. Unfortunately, there’s not much out there on the web about Worthington, so I suggest you judge for yourself by talking a look at her How to Cook Husbands and The Gentle Art of Cooking Wives. I’m so impressed, I’ll probably recommend her work to the dudes when we’re watching the game and getting tanked at Hooters tonight. Heyo!

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Published in: on February 11, 2010 at 10:51 am  Leave a Comment  

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