Dave Henzerling vs. Paris inch

Dave Henzerling

R 'n f'n R!

Did you know that Justin interviewed Slash last week? True story. I, on the other hand, don’t know very much at all about heavy metal music (you must be shocked, I know). Sure I’m vaguely aware that bands called things like Big Cock exist, but I don’t listen to them, or think about them very much, beyond wondering how all those crazy dudes maintain such impressive manes. But Dave Henzerling seems to be kind of a big deal (despite only having 408 Twitter followers), with a number of bands under his belt. And even though I’m not crazy about his music (I’m afraid to link to any of his YouTube videos because they all have pornographic key words and I am a sissy little prude. Think of the children!), I appreciate that he rocks some people’s worlds. And even I can admire that shiny golden shag on his head.

And seriously, the Paris inch? Don’t be ridiculous. An inch should be an inch. Standardized measurements are important in this globalized world of yours – think how annoyed you get that you need to think about plug adaptors for your computer when you go to another continent. What kind of bullshit is that? How can an inch be different from city to city? That completely defeats the purpose of having inches! Sheesh. I’m just gonna start measuring things using my thumbs. That’s my own standardized measurement and you’ll just have to guess how long four thumbs actually is! Paris inch. Come on.

VS.

Paris inch

This baby can do 0 to 2,216,000 pouce in no time.

Wow, give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile. Or give someone another choice after they get “Comparison of file archivers” and you get the Paris inch (or “pouce,” which should make this one a sure winner). The fine folks at sizes.com describe a Paris inch originating “in France prior to adoption of the metric system, and in Haiti, Mauritius, and the Seychelles, 20th century, a unit of length, approximately 2.707 centimeters (about 1.066 inches).” It was introduced in France between 1812 – 1839, as part of the Système Usuel http://www.sizes.com/units/syste_me_usuel.htm that was “a system of weights and measures introduced to satisfy public resistance to the adoption of the metric system.” You have to love the French.

According to Wikipedia, “the Paris inch could be subdivided into 12 ligne (Paris line), and 12 Paris inches made a Paris foot. The Paris inch and Paris foot could be abbreviated with ‘ and ” like some other inch/foot units. It was larger than the English inch and the Vienna inch, although the Vienna inch was subdivided with a decimal, not 12 lines.” Kinda neat, huh? And if you think this is ultimately fluffy useless stuff, I’ll have you know it was essential to Joseph von Fraunhofer’s completion of the first Great Refractor. Or, consider this assessment by Adolf Zander in The Ophthalmoscope: “The Paris inch is commonly employed as the unit by which to express the focal length of lenses, and it cannot, therefore, be dispensed with.” That’s right, CANNOT be dispensed with. Of course, he said that in 1864 but still, I’m going to say it’s still relevant today.

Just think about it, the next time you want to brag about how sweet your ride is to impress someone, throw in the pouce for extra good measure (see what I just did there?) “Yeah, babe, this guy can go 0 to 2,216,000 pouce in 15 seconds!” Or, “I can run the 3,694 pouce dash in 12 seconds!” From now on, I’m using the pouce for everything. This handy converter page will show you how it all shakes down (with a convenient link if you’re looking to get ripped!)

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Published in: on March 18, 2010 at 10:09 am  Leave a Comment  

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