Frederick Robert Cromwell vs. Frederic Collignon

Frederick Robert Cromwell

I’ll be honest – I can’t put up much of a fight today. And it’s not because Justin’s been under the weather and I want to let him win. This has nothing to do with pity. This has to do with Justin getting a FOOSBALL PLAYER and me getting some boring politician. He’s Conservative. He looks like a despised history teacher from my school. He shares a last name with the least-fun man in English history, although you can’t really hold that against him. There are several people who share my last name, and I hope no one would judge me based on their behaviour.

Really, though, all the name “Cromwell” makes me think of is this weird old song. HI HO BURIED AND DEAD!


Frederic Collignon

Finally, a real sport. Foosball! Folks, if any of you have ever played foosball you’ll know that there’s nothing better in life. A good friend of mine had a foosball table instead of a kitchen table and it served us so well. My friends and I all had great lives until our friend decided to give his foosball table to his roommate who was moving back to Montreal (just another to spite you, Frederick Robert Cromwell! Leave our foosball tables alone!). This also effectively ended our hopes of ever becoming good enough to go professional. For real, this is possible. Had I known, I would’ve spent all that time at the foosball table at our university residence instead of studying for stupid exams. Look where that got me. Frédéric “Rico” Collignon is one of the smart ones. A “Belgian professional table football player,” Collignon is “a multiple world champion and is regarded as the world’s best player this decade.” I mean, just watch this guy, he’s a god!

Published in: on March 30, 2010 at 9:32 am  Leave a Comment  

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